Saturday 30 April 2016

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

Link to Oceans

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown
Where feet may fail
And there I find you in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

I'm sure many of you are familiar with this song, Oceans, from Hillsong. I'm sure many of you love it. I know I do - it's one of my favourite songs. The bridges especially stand out:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour

But do we actually realize what we're singing in that bridge? We're asking God to take us to where our trust has no borders. No borders at all. No safety. No security. No familiarity. We're saying to God "We're ready to go wherever you send us to do whatever you want us to do. No questions asked."

Do we actually mean that? Are we actually willing to follow God where our trust has no borders? Because if we don't, you could argue that we shouldn't actually be singing the song.

This question was posed (well, posed more as a thought) at a Bible study which I was attending/running on Thursday evening. Are we actually willing to go where our trust has no borders?

If I'm being honest with myself, I'd have to say that no, at the moment, there are situations which would totally stop me in my tracks, situations that I would have no idea what to do with.

But at the same time, I don't want to stay there. I want to know my Father better. I want to experience more of His heart. I want to press in closer to Him. And while Jesus didn't have prerequisites for people coming to Him (stop sinning, get a job, have a shower) he did require change after they did come to Him. Go and sin no more, go and leave your life of sin, stop sinning or something worse will happen to you.

I believe that principle can be applied here. No, maybe I'm not ready to go wherever God leads me. But I'm asking Him to change me, to grow me, to transform me, to mold me into who He wants me to be. And part of that is childlike trust, childlike faith. He wants us to be willing to trust Him completely, to go wherever His Spirit leads us. And that will be difficult. He promised that. (John 16:33). But it will be worth it in the end. Being like Jesus, being with Jesus, will be worth it in the end. When He wipes away every tear from our eyes and says "Well done, my good and faithful servant," everything will be worth it.

It's not up to us to change ourselves into who God wants us to be. That's what He does. Yet in a way, it's totally up to us. This is one of the strange balances in this world, where two things that seem to be complete opposites can and are both completely true. Justice and mercy. Predestination and free will. Working out our salvation with fear and trembling yet also resting in God's love and grace and the completeness of His finished work on the cross.

And in a way, it doesn't matter whether or not I'm ready yet to go wherever God will lead me. We don't need to see the end of the journey. All we need is the next step. I struggle with this. In my humanity, in my brokenness, I want to know how everything is going to work out. I want God to provide me with an exact roadmap of how He is going to deal with me and where He is going to lead me for the rest of my life. But that's not always how God works. He leads us one step at a time. If we always knew exactly where we were going over the next year, over the next five years, over the next ten years, then where would faith be?

Actually, faith requires that we don't know, that we aren't ready. If we're prepared to meet any situation, then we aren't trusting God, we're trusting ourselves.

Oceans isn't a declaration of supreme faith and borderless trust. It's a cry to God to bring us to where He wants us to be. And it's my cry. Father, make me more like you. Lead me where my trust is without borders. More of You and less of me, Lord.

And I will call upon Your Name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

S. D. G.